I almost forgot I had a blog! I would like to recommit to writing a couple times a week, but I can see it coming already … with the first couple sunshiny, blue-skied days, staying inside writing might be low on the list, traded in for happy hour on a patio! Perhaps I’ll take my computer to my back porch and set up shop there for the next month or so.
Here’s a small miracle that happened as of late …
I previously wrote about seeing Bing Lee (the acupuncturist who’s name I love), and him telling me he knew my problem – that my hypothalamus was busted – and that after he got it back in place, I should return to a normal menstruation cycle and be on my way toward making babies. While he was saying this, I remember thinking, “I am going to try with all my might to believe that you are right.” All the while I was having a doubting Thomas experience. Since I went off the Pill a year and a half ago, I haven’t had a period on my own. The last time I saw Bing, about a month ago, he said I should expect a period to start within the next couple months. I started spotting about eight days ago and literally did not know what was happening. When my period started, on its own, I literally wanted to throw it a party! How did this happen? Why did I doubt that my body would recover with the right help? I am still dumbfounded and I don’t really know what is going to happen next … but my best hopeful thoughts are that I will ovulate on my own this month. We’ll see. Of course, I still have my next fertility treatment scheduled in May. Either way, I can see the clouds parting.
The other spring-like newness in my life is my new niece, Brooklyn. Actually, she is my first niece – my brother’s baby girl – and she is so precious. Just 24 hours after celebrating Easter, I got to hold her 2 week-old body, and I watched how she opened her eyes and tried with all her might to focus her gaze on me, memorizing my features and storing them in her head. There were two times I saw so clearly that she already knew her mom’s touch and voice, when she was crying in my arms, but then instantly calmed by being put in her mom’s arms. The miracle of becoming alive! Is this not what we are all trying to do – become alive?
The balance between work and home, the balance between desire and need, the balance between being satisfied and wanting what’s not on your plate right now …
I think the magic of Spring is that all things become new again. We can literally watch as flowers grow, as baby animals appear, as the sun warms our frozen hearts. Spring allows for the miracle of creation – of growth and re-birth. What is coming up through the hard ground of winter and starting to spring forth in your life?